B.C.-

I miss bestfriends and true love B.C. , Before Cellphones. Moments when real secrets was kept. Emotions and love was shown visually, face to face. Something inbetween us two, we felt beyond safe. Knocking on my door or window just checking up on me. Having a little of paranoia not hearing from me. But everytime we see each other again we just want to leave and get far far away. Far far away was just up the street at the park, posted, chillin, talking about anything and everything. Far far away was just at the gas station and getting a few drinks just to be posted or headed to a kickback. Far far away, a small one or two day vacation, just a small get away or even a staycation. 

I miss bestfriends and true love B.C. , Before Cellphones. Moments when real secrets was kept. Emotions and love was shown visually, face to face. 

Moms being moms, granny just being granny, sending cookies and all different types of love to my door. Or kissing me in my room just randomly telling me I love you. Everytime we left the house it was a hug and a kiss. Now it’s text me when you’re safe and I love you doesn’t feel the same over text anymore. I want to wash my pain away in the waves; The Ship. I want to ponder on what time it is and it doesn’t stop for no one. I want my mind thinking non stop and no clocks. But some how you still feel the tick-tocks. I want the waves moving my body in motion enjoying every last possible moment, but somehow each motion is another moment of my mind unlocking. I am tired of people showing fake love through text or my Instagram and Facebook inbox. 

Sometimes I want the love of mama taking care of me again, making me soup and putting a towel over my forehead then kissing me. Even small love, she takes off my socks, knowing I am only going to slide them off, but then she puts the covers over me. These days that type of love is unorthodox. Sometimes I wanna go back to playing with my neighborhood friends in my teen years at the park, riding our bikes all around the block; or even when I was four years old; me playing in the sandbox. Maybe even just being home again in my boxers and no shirt watching Sandlot. 

Memory after memory; my favorite every night possible;

I can only remember my mind being so infatuated with watching the one man everybody hated for his greatness, Kobe Bryant filling up the stat box. 

Only living in the memories B.C. , I miss you Kobe, R.I.P. 

Studied everything about you, I would’ve never been as strong, smart, or wise, if it wasn’t for you. You gave me The Mamba Mentality beyond basketball. You are the reason why I stand tall, why I’m always ready for the fights and sprawls, you are the reason why I dive for every opportunity and ball. I’m always ready to risk it all. The reason why I never stop hustling for my greatness through the morning and nightfall. I guess you can say you are the reason why I never wanted to be like everybody else and in someway and somehow, I wanted to be above all. You are the reason why I read, study and have an high IQ on as much as I can, beyond the ball. You gave me The Mamba Mentality beyond basketball. Most importantly through the temptation you stayed loyal through it all. With you being so far and far away you really were with me, B.C. 

I miss bestfriends and true love B.C. , Before Cellphones. Moments when real secrets was kept. Emotions and love was shown visually face to face. 

“The Mind of Lorenzo” 

Even with the cell phones, the fake love... you debate who to call. It makes the tough times and downfalls hard to vibe with yourself. Wet pillows, super long showers, feeling like a hundred years passed, then once you get out... reality hits you right back seconds later. You start looking at your body and face but yet somehow you are seriously looking into your soul. Even sometimes you see your own energy or spirit next or above you.  People like me... it’s me and the mirror talking sense and preaching wisdom to myself. One v One conversations, The Mind of Lorenzo speaking to Tre. Sometimes I feel as I dedicate too much of my time trying to find the loyal ones, I look into everyone’s tendencies and habits. I read all if they really true and pure; and they all fail. They just aren’t me. I wish the world seen me for me. I sacrifice my love for everyone all the time. It’s depressing that maybe no one will know until my last days, after my pain is over and they finally feel a moment of regret. And maybe a few tears drop every few sunsets. Something in me wants them wishing they could fly up to me and apologize. I just know the energy I let out to the world that people see heart in my eyes. If that day ever happened when they regret not reciprocating the love provided... I can just come down and see if they changed their lives just because of me; I wanna skydive. I want them treating me and others like five stars. I can’t believe I want to test my life for this, the riskiest test drive. All these thoughts because of B.C. and cellphones. 

The last letter I write... this verse plays in the perfect moment of understanding. 

This writing was really meant to be. 

Mick Jenkins;

That’s why you gotta look for yourself,

Do not live your life on another man's word, 

Open up these books for yourself. 

You would get shook by the truth too,

Start to see crooks by the Buku. 

Connections unseen like the Bluetooth,

Or the WiFi. 

Found facts that I can’t deny,

I had to change my eye.

Introspective questions answered with deflection.
In the mirror no reflections.

Was severely misdirected,
And then that shit gets dismissed from recollection.

I be Drew Brees with the knowledge of a Rabbi;
Kobe send some shooters, keep a Raja Bell with me.

Bare with me, grow with me , share with me.